We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem to no closer to feeling happy in their lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is generally acknowledged that living in the electronic information era facilitates the connection between individuals.
However
, it is sometimes argued that a large number of them are not even close to feel happy with the way they live. Personally, I firmly agree with the perspective for two main reasons.
To begin
with, the technology has revolutionized the way we communicate each other. Online communication applications and social media websites provide instant information about people's lives owing to the fact that everybody can easily see other's lives. Especially seeing everyday life's of wealthy people leads the majority to focusing on what they do not have in their lives resulting in unhappiness in their lives as they emulate the rich life.
This
has been evidenced by numerous academic studies the latest of which is one published by the University of Sydney in 2016 concluding that individuals who are in between 18-40 years old spend 75% of their time on social media by following celebrities and they usually complain about the things that they do not have. The study
further
shows that 99% of them have depression as they do not know how to be satisfied with their belongings.
Furthermore
, most of the population who connect via the internet do not focus on the moment as they keep checking their social media accounts. Due to the fact that they miss the time that might create unforgettable memories.
This
results in connecting with technology yet leading to disconnection with the rest of the world. As a consequence, we might have a higher amount of unhappy individuals in the society. According to the statistics released by the Social Life Committee of Russia in 2018, additive use of the internet, specifically the social media causes introversion which leads to skipping the best moments in their lives.
Moreover
, when the younger generations grow up, there is a high chance that they will not have memories with family members as they do not share any time with them.
As a result
, the society would have unhappy introverted generations. In conclusion, the era of the electronic information has brought convenience in connectivity,
however
, people start to feel unhappy in their lives given the fact that they focus on other people's richness and they do not live the moment.
Submitted by akmangizem on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: