Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

It is true that many parents today have a tendency to give their
children
excessive freedom to
fulfill
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fulfil
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their expectations.
This
writer contends that
this
nurturing style may seem like an easy way to bring up
children
without causing conflict, albeit it has far-reaching consequences in the long run. When parents cater to every child’s desire without forcing them to strive for it,
this
will give them instant gratification. Despite having no immediately conceivable consequence,
children
educated in
this
way can get accustomed to instant
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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, leading to no appreciation and gratitude for hard work and dedication.
Furthermore
,
this
way of raising can develop a sense of entitlement in
children
, making them less perceivable about boundaries and limits. They can have impulsive
behaviors
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behaviours
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to achieve accomplishment, stimulate a sense of covetousness, and find it difficult to fit in with peers. As
children
get older, those who have been educated without structure and discipline can find it more challenging to cope with difficulty.
This
is because when getting familiar with easy childhood, they have no intention of exerting sheer effort to stay relentless and persistent in reaching the pinnacle or going through harsh situations they stumble upon in their career. They may struggle with making crucial decisions or maintaining good financial status
due to
a lack of willpower and perseverance . In conclusion, without parents' awareness to impose self-regulation and boundaries, it may have a detrimental consequence on
children
’s performance later in their adulthood.
Thus
, striking a balance between rewarding
children
and educating them is essential for the people with parental responsibility.
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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is organized with a clear progression of ideas and a logical structure. However, to reach a higher score, work on developing your main points with more supporting details and expanding on the ideas presented with a wider range of cohesive devices. This would improve the flow of information and the clarity of your arguments. Additionally, be cautious of any potential repetitive phrasing and strive to use a greater variety of sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgent
  • entitlement
  • discipline
  • responsibility
  • nurturing
  • self-reliance
  • adversity
  • autonomy
  • validation
  • dependence
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