IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that the government spends too much money on developing space exploration technology. There are many other financial needs that the government should address instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #space #exploration #technology #address
Nowadays, most of the government funds are allocated to space mission aids. I completely agree with the idea that these are a waste of money, and that the savings should be spent to other economic essentials
such
 as public services. There are several reasons why the spending
for
Suggestion
in
 the technology of space programs ought to be ceased. One of the main reasons for
this
 view is that the facilities and equipment come at a huge cost. For
this
 reason, there will be hardly any possibility to sufficiently fund other necessary sectors of the country
such
 as health care, education if it is still underdeveloped. Another factor is that
this
 activity might not be of benefit to everyone who lives in the country. A good illustration
for
Suggestion
of
this
 view is that
this
 development will not be likely to profit teachers at all. From my personal perspective, it would be
wise decision
Suggestion
a wise decision
 if the government spending was assigned to public services.
That is
 because it comes at a low cost as opposed to space exploration projects. What it more, it has a positive impact on every member of society.
Public transport system
Suggestion
The public transport system
 would be the perfect epitome of
this
 assertion as virtually everybody needs the strong sense of necessity towards them. Many people express a strong preference for making use of
such
 transports which serve as a beneficial means to give a better quality of life. In conclusion, I would argue that government funding should be utilized to
such
 essentials which incorporate beneficial sides for all individuals in the community.
Submitted by spectacularglimp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: