IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that money could be better spent somewhere else. To what extent do you agree?

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Art
Use synonyms
 is a great
way
Use synonyms
 to present expressions. In
opinion
Suggestion
the opinion
 of some people government's spending money on pieces of arts
is
Suggestion
are
 useless, as it is more important to use it for better purposes. I
am strongly disagreed
Suggestion
strongly disagree
 with
this
Linking Words
 point of view as my essay
intend
Suggestion
intends
 to tell how investment in
art
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
community
Suggestion
the community
communities
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 is
way
Use synonyms
 to transit culture, history and
knowledge
Use synonyms
 from one generation to another. A piece of
art
Use synonyms
 is not about itself but
also
Linking Words
 tells various stages of human history.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
Taj Mahal in India is not just a symbol of
beauty but
Accept comma addition
beauty, but
also
Linking Words
 it gives
spectators
Suggestion
spectator's
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of
architecture
Suggestion
the architecture
 of that particular age. On
other hand
Suggestion
the other hand
, it is a source of inspiration for poets and painters. In
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
,
art
Use synonyms
 transfer practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of past generations. In
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
, it is highly informative for students, teachers and other
knowledge
Use synonyms
 seekers.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 is
fascination
Suggestion
a fascination
 for many people, so they love to visit a beautiful building, painting and sculpture. Which provide funding to nations.
Art
Use synonyms
 pieces need money to
prepare
Accept comma addition
prepare, although
although
Linking Words
, it is a huge source of income.
For instance
Linking Words
, forts in Rajasthan are sources of attraction for foreign tourists. Excessive visit of tourists provide
job
Suggestion
jobs
 to numerous guides, vendors, transporters and hotel workers. In
this
Linking Words
 manner,
art
Use synonyms
 demands money for
maintenance but
Accept comma addition
maintenance, but
 it provides jobs
to
Suggestion
for
 all
sort
Suggestion
sorts
 of artists and provide inspiration for many. From painting to movies are always
source
Suggestion
sources
 of expression
for
Suggestion
of
 the feeling of many. In conclusion, I pen down by saying that
although
Linking Words
 each and every field is important for the development of human civilization, and they need economic support.
Art
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 important for every country. So, it is not useless to fund
art
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Thus there
Accept comma addition
Thus, there
 is
need
Suggestion
the need
a need
 to maintain balance among each area.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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