IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #job #employers #value #work
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At some point in their lives, all people face the challenge of entering the labour market, hoping to find a great
job
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.
However
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, there is an ongoing debate about what future employers look for, a
university
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education
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 or hands-on
experience
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. In my opinion, it all depends on the nature of the
job
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 one aspires to. Thinking about various occupations, it becomes clear that certain jobs require a
university
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degree
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 in a relevant subject from anyone who wants to enter that career path.
This
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 condition is clearly stated in the
job
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 adverts, and for
such
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 jobs no amount of work
experience
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 can replace a higher
education
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. Examples of
such
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 occupations are doctors and engineers. A nurse who has been working in a hospital for ten years will not become a doctor.
This
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 is because these professions require highly specialised knowledge that can only be gained
though
by means of; with aid of; through the act or agency of; "destroyed by fire"
through
 many years of higher
education
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.
However
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, not all jobs are like that. In some industries, work
experience
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 seems more valuable than a
degree
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. When I worked in a bank, some of our managers, who had only secondary
education
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, were promoted to top positions because they knew how the department works inside out. They clearly had an advantage over those with a master’s
degree
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 who had just joined the bank. From
this
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 example, it is obvious that some jobs require extensive knowledge of the business, and in
such
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cases employers
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cases, employers
 will favour those with several years of
experience
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 over fresh
university
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 graduates. In conclusion, it seems there is no single path to getting a great
job
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. While a
university
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degree
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 is a prerequisite for some jobs, work
experience
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 may be more important for others. Researching the typical requirements for desired positions will help one to make the right choice.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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