The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with this problem is to introduce phesical education lessons in the school curriculum .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is often argued that obesity causes many dangerous diseases like diabetes and heart problems so some people control
this
issue by launch physical exercises in cu
rricula o
Suggestion
the curricula
f the
school
. I believe that there are 2 reasons why initiating more athletics in the field of education to tolerate weight gain is a good idea. The main reason why I believe that presenting more physical activity in the
school
is to attain more healthy students by explaining how obesity is a serious situation which requires attention.
For example
, people who are over weighted suffering from several diseases.
As a result
decrease the number of ob
esity a
Suggestion
obese
nd probably will be healthy pupils.
On the other ha
nd students will k
Suggestion
hand, students will
now more knowledge regarding exercise to be more athletics through practicing different types of sports.
Although
more activities will affect other classes of the
school
, it will help students to be healthier and have a good shape of the body. To conclude, though I agree that sports is essential to overcome the problem of weight gain and obtain he
althier body b
Suggestion
a healthier body
y introducing sports and activities in the
sc
hool which l
Accept comma addition
school, which
eads to desirable changes in the lifestyle, I think that will cause a ma
rvelous d
extraordinarily good or great; used especially as an intensifier
marvellous
ifference in the body.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: