Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
new age, the
demand
for the
energy
resources, especially for the gas and oil has been gradually increasing since
population
Suggestion
the population
of the
world
has an accelerated
rhythm
Accept comma addition
rhythm, thus
thus
new virgin areas for the purpose of exploring new sources has become an inevitable consequence.
This
new trend apparently gives rise to some sort of
advantages
Accept comma addition
advantages, however
however
I strongly argue that the handicaps it harbours has more to mention. It is strongly believed that the more
demand
increases the more capital market prices. In
this
aspect, governments claim that new research in the field of untouched horizons is a crucial necessity in order to both meet the
energy
demand
and decrease the prices.
For instance
, before the exploration of the
America
Suggestion
American
continent, gold and silver used to be much more valuable in the
Europe
Accept comma addition
Europe, however
however
after the
world
expansion
Suggestion
expands
and the transfer of valuable mines from the America towards
rest
Suggestion
the rest
of the
World
the market price fairly declined since the gap between the
demand
and production had narrowed down. In a similar way, the new
energy
fountains would affect the budget of consumers in a positive manner with
fairly
Suggestion
fair
margin of drops would stand at the expenses.
On the other hand
, the new searches among the seas and forests contain a bunch of downsides as well. To start with, it is arguably the
last
thing for individuals to wish that more catastrophic
actions
Suggestion
action
on the natural life for the new fossil
energy
sources while the
world
has already had trouble with global warming. The intervention of the human beings through the
habitats especially
Accept comma addition
habitats, especially
the oceans in
this
topic, might be roof for more serious damages stem from devastation of animals and plants and their natural living areas. Apart from that, a competition over the potential
energy
mines may be the leading factor for upcoming rivals and even the wars which would end up with more economical and environmental destruction.
For instance
, the contemporary the Sea Sovereignty Agreement acted between Turkey and Libya had shuffled the cards regarded with
Mediterranean Sea
Suggestion
the Mediterranean Sea
and conflicts have
risen
come into existence; take on form or shape
arisen
about which country holds the authority to make investigations which targets the new oil beds.
Moreover
, the
world
has witnessed a number of wars or military interventions throughout Pakistan, Iraq, Suria and Egypt in which potential petrol sources take place.
Thus
each country, even the ones not shared
same continent
Suggestion
the same continent
with the mentioned Asian and Middle East countries, found right to join
this
brand-wagon. On balance, initiating the new possible researches among the untouched areas
have
Suggestion
has
both the advantages and drawbacks.
However
, I definitely possess the idea of that downsides of
this
tendency
overweighs
in other respects or ways
otherwise
the positive aspects and hopefully the
world
learn how to handle
energy
consumption and does not need to look for the new springs in the
intemerate
lands.
Submitted by burhantokerbau on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • fostering innovations
  • renewable energy sources
  • energy security
  • geopolitical tensions
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental risks
  • habitat destruction
  • irreversible damage
  • perpetuates dependence
  • transitioning
  • indigenous and local communities
  • ethical and social challenges
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