In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hair styles. In your opinion what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing.

#countries #people #fashion #hair #styles

These days it is well

know

Suggestion

known

that people want to have the latest hair done, and wear what is in vogue globally. In my opinion, I think social media is one the factors that influence

this

development which is sometimes disadvantageous to many people. One of the major factors that pressurize people to wear clothes that are trending is the social media.

This

is because they want to imitate the celebrity they often see on their media pages.

For example

, a survey carried out by a group of researchers shows that ninety percent of teenagers nowadays desire to dress like the famous artist they love

see

Suggestion

seeing

entertainment pages

Suggestion

the entertainment pages

on their phone

Accept space

This

as a result

of choosing them as their role model. Another factor to consider is that some people want to look more attractive.

In other words

, they dress extraordinarily among their friends and colleagues so that they can be well respected and treated with high esteem.

This

is a negative development because it prevents many individuals to save adequately for the future. The reason is that they tend to divert funds that ought to be

use

Suggestion

used

usable

to purchase

landed

Suggestion

land

lands

properties, shares

Accept space

into buying clothing items that depreciate within a short period of time.

Consequently

, they become stranded when they are no longer in paid employment or when they are old and cannot continue to work.

In addition

this

might lead some persons to illicit acts

such

as forging documents in the office, running into debts, in order to acquire money owing to the fact that they want to look superb. In conclusion,

Although

there is no doubt that some persons imitate modern day dressing. In my view entertainment industry is often the cause and

this

is not profitable to many individuals as it might lead them into inappropriate acts.

Tue Feb 04 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hair styles. In your opinion what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartic. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

People who were born in rural areas often move to big cities when they become adult. What are the reason for this? it ia a positive or negative trend?