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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hair styles. In your opinion what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing.

#countries #people #fashion #hair #styles
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These days it is well
know
Suggestion
known
 that people want to have the latest hair done, and wear what is in vogue globally. In my opinion, I think social media is one the factors that influence
this
Linking Words
 development which is sometimes disadvantageous to many people. One of the major factors that pressurize people to wear clothes that are trending is the social media.
This
Linking Words
 is because they want to imitate the celebrity they often see on their media pages.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey carried out by a group of researchers shows that ninety percent of teenagers nowadays desire to dress like the famous artist they love
see
Suggestion
seeing
 on
entertainment pages
Suggestion
the entertainment pages
 on their phone
.
Accept space
.
This
Linking Words
 is
as a result
Linking Words
 of choosing them as their role model. Another factor to consider is that some people want to look more attractive.
In other words
Linking Words
, they dress extraordinarily among their friends and colleagues so that they can be well respected and treated with high esteem.
This
Linking Words
 is a negative development because it prevents many individuals to save adequately for the future. The reason is that they tend to divert funds that ought to be
use
Suggestion
used
usable
 to purchase
landed
Suggestion
land
lands
 properties, shares
,
Accept space
,
into buying clothing items that depreciate within a short period of time.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they become stranded when they are no longer in paid employment or when they are old and cannot continue to work.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 might lead some persons to illicit acts
such
Linking Words
 as forging documents in the office, running into debts, in order to acquire money owing to the fact that they want to look superb. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 there is no doubt that some persons imitate modern day dressing. In my view entertainment industry is often the cause and
this
Linking Words
 is not profitable to many individuals as it might lead them into inappropriate acts.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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