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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many people think that
government
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 bears more responsibility for the increase of obesity problems in children, while others say that parents are liable.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why parents are more responsible for their children's health rather than
government
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. Children at their early age of life become the victim of many diseases. Obesity is one of the main issues which have affected many children. The rapid rise in
such
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problem
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 alerts
government
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 to ban the production of those products which are unhealthy.
In addition
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, it is better to power the local administrations to apply the legislation in true spirit enabling the
control
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 of obesity.
For example
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, the inspection of products before launching into the market will put
control
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 on those products which cause the fatness
problem
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.
However
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,
this
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 is not only up to the governments, parents should
also
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 play their role in controlling the issue. In fact, parents bear more responsibility than
government
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 because they can easily prohibit their children from those foods which are not good for health.
Moreover
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, they should teach their children from the start about the outcome of unhealthy food as well as take strict action where required.
For instance
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, the recent report on health systems and disease reveals that many of the victims of obesity were due to their parents as they could not prohibit their children from unhealthy foods though legislation were in place.
Thus
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,
this
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 alert parents take measures to
control
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 the increasing problems in children. In conclusion, unless efforts are made by parents to provide their children food made of healthy ingredients, the
problem
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 will only escalate. While governments have a critical role to play, individuals should take proper measure to
control
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 on the
problem
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 as I believe the parents and guardians are more responsible for the rise of
such
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 issue.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • government policies
  • food industry
  • sugary foods
  • dietary habits
  • marketing strategies
  • advertisements
  • physical activity
  • childhood obesity
  • socioeconomic factors
  • healthy lifestyles
  • education campaigns
  • nutrition
  • food choices
  • healthy examples
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