IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some People Think that Certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
There is
ongoing perception
Suggestion
an ongoing perception
the ongoing perception
 among some individuals
of
Suggestion
by
 utilizing culprits for doing unsalaried
welfare
work
 despite putting them in a
jails
Suggestion
jail
. By doing so, regions involved in social works, will be benefited in terms of cost saving. They will get engaged in friendly activities; helped them to change the attitude and perception towards the
society
. I tend to agree on the mentioned basis that
such
 strategy will be cessation for both increasing
level
Suggestion
levels
 of crime rate and prisoners.
To begin
 with, social
work
 activities performed by authorities
involves
Suggestion
involve
 paid
work
 force. Since Community works are heartily doing activities, and involves much diligence, that might not be shown by salaried
work
 force. On the other side, if
Jury
Suggestion
the Jury
 relates the community
work
 performance by the prisoners proportionate to their days behind the bars, it is obvious that they will achieve better benchmarks in
more effective way
Suggestion
a more effective way
.
In Addition
, engaging prisoners in social activities cause personality transformation in
timely manner
Suggestion
a timely manner
. According to Crime Index Reports of 2019; prisoners involved in
welfare
 tasks achieve social personality building, and helps to remove the psychological dissonance between criminals and nearly jailed free persons who become ethical towards
society
.
Hence
,
society
 observes the fall off hostile activities. According to Human Rights 2019 Report, putting
culprits
Suggestion
the culprits
 in social activities
is more affect able
Suggestion
has, the more affected able
has the more affected able
has more affected able
,
instead
 of frightening them for
un lawful
not conforming to legality, moral law, or social convention
unlawful
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. In Nutt shell, one tends to believe the importance of involving the recidivists in social activities
instead
 of putting them behind the bars; beneficial not only for
authorities
Suggestion
the authorities
 but
also
 nation will feel the sign of relief. In any
welfare
society
, clauses are mentioned for improvement of prisoners’ personality building in the constitution, that strictly be followed.
Nation
Suggestion
A nation
The nation
 can only be called
welfare
society not
Accept comma addition
society, not
 only by spending
wealth but
Accept comma addition
wealth, but
 by taking initiatives for the
welfare
 of
un lawful
not conforming to legality, moral law, or social convention
unlawful
 people, who are behind the bars against any criminal activity.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: