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Band 6.5

Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #schools #purpose #support
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It is undeniably true that the major purpose of schools is to educate pupil;
however
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, many people argue that entertainment is quite essential in the school premises for the holistic development of students. I
also
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 advocate that extra-curricular activities play a crucial role in the physical and mental growth of a child.
To begin
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 with, physical participation in non-educational activities
such
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 as sport, drama, art enhance the cognitive skills of the children.
This
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 is because
such
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 recreation offer opportunities to the learners to interact with their peers, which helps them to comprehend their strength and weakness.
For example
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, a recent
study
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 by the World Health Organisation found that teenagers who often participate in sports or other activities excel in their academics and social life as compared to those who are physically inactive in recreational habits.
Consequently
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, schools ought to be more entertaining in order to develop intellectual skills among pupil.
Furthermore
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, much emphasis on academics could lead to certain health associated problems. Unfortunately, today's parents and education structure place the huge burden
in
Suggestion
on
 toddler's mind. In order to achieve high percentage, students usually engage in the persistent
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study which
Accept comma addition
study, which
 can isolate them from society. Owing to
this
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 separation, children may avoid the other facets of life, leading to the disinterest in
study
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 and frustration.
This
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 can
further
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 cause depression and other physiological disorder.
Hence
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, to break the mundane of regular
study
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, the school should have adequate resources for recreation. In conclusion, it is evident that non-educational activities provide a platform to explore to the learners to be better off in their life. In my opinion,
besides
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 academics, schools and parents should priorities the extra-curricular activities because it could help children to prevent themselves from health and social illness.
Submitted by innamoliaka1 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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