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Band 5

In many countries today, the average weight of children is increasing. What can be done to resolve the issue?

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Introduction
Nowadays, the issue of
obesity
Use synonyms
 among children in most of the countries is increasing at an alarming rate. Parents, schools and government should take
initiative
Suggestion
the initiative
 and necessary steps to overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, schools should educate children about healthy eating. At
this
Linking Words
 young
age children
Accept comma addition
age, children
 do not have much understanding between healthy and unhealthy diet. For
this
Linking Words
 reason, it is important that at
this
Linking Words
 early age, children get education in schools about what is good for their health.
For instance
Linking Words
, teachers should encourage children to bring healthy meals for their lunch and,
as a result
Linking Words
, children will develop a habit of consuming nutritious
food
Use synonyms
 with lesser chances of
obesity
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, parents should take the responsibility to monitor about what their children consume on
daily basis
Suggestion
a daily basis
. It is important for parents to get
involve
Suggestion
involved
 with them and educate them about the benefits of healthy
food
Use synonyms
. The major reason for
obesity
Use synonyms
 is
consumption
Suggestion
the consumption
 of unnecessary
food
Use synonyms
 consumed by children between the meals
such
Linking Words
 as
carbon
Suggestion
carbonated
 hydrated drinks.
Body paragraph 3
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is important to consider that how much calories a child should intake in a day.
Mostly
Suggestion
Most
 parents prepare meals and tiffin for their children and as a consequence, it is easy for them to control the diet of children, which will help to tackle the problem of
obesity
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 4
Finally
Linking Words
, the government may be able to take steps to impose restrictions to sell unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 items to minors. In young age, children are not aware of healthy options and may choose to consume unhealthy meals
such
Linking Words
 as junk and processed
food
Use synonyms
. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, restaurants and café should not sell convenient
food
Use synonyms
 to children unless accompanied by a guardian and
as a result
Linking Words
, it will reduce the intake of unnecessary
food
Use synonyms
 options. While I concede that it will not be beneficial for
food
Use synonyms
 industry, but it is important to consider the health of young generation.
Conclusion
To conclude, when parents, schools and the government will take responsibility to educate, monitor and impose restrictions where necessary. It will result in controlling the issue of
obesity
Use synonyms
 amongst children.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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