IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?

#people #case #traveler
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The number of individual trips has increased in the
last
 decades.
Although
 there are numerous reviews, I firmly believe that the main reasons for improving technology and the low-cost transportation. Humans have always needed to discover new places from the beginning of the world. Before, they did not have enough opportunities
due to
 lack of transportation. As technology has developed, phones have entered our lives.
Then
 everyone started using social media platforms and most of them still share to all trips with a lot of details on these platforms.
Subsequently
, others learn new points and want to explore as other people do as well.
As a result
, personal development and acculturation are benefits of travelling. Another reason is that transportation companies, especially commercial airlines, have competition with each other. So, the price of plane tickets has decreased in time and more humans have bought tickets at lower prices.
In addition
, companies always have a campaign throughout the year which can increase sales rates. In consequence, people want to buy cheap tickets even though they do not have any visas at that time.
Furthermore
, accommodation options have improved by all means long ago, are used need to book a hotel, now, it is possible to rent a house over the Internet and can be able to reach any holiday type depending on their budget. In conclusion, the benefits are countless of travelling, and it is a growing trend nowadays. I think everyone deserves other cities and countries to explore the natural and historical places.
Submitted by jigglypuff on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on providing more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance readability. This can be achieved by using clearer transitions and connecting ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing both reasons for increased travel and its benefits.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Low-cost airlines
  • Globalization
  • Professional development
  • Social media platforms
  • Exotic locations
  • Cultural exchange
  • Personal growth
  • Adaptable
  • Open-minded
  • Mental health
  • Daily routines
  • Responsibilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: