IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced. Do you agree or disagree?

#missions #space #earth #demand #attention
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The journey to
space
Use synonyms
 are more costly to
acheive
Accept comma addition
achieve, however
achieve however
however
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
issues on earth needs more
focuse
the concentration of attention or energy on something
focus
forces
 in which the assignment needs to be
lessen
Suggestion
lessened
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
on
Suggestion
about
 the need of lowering the
jounery
the act of traveling from one place to another
journey
 to
space
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
 I agreed that the fund need to be
reduce
Suggestion
reduced
Firstly
Linking Words
, travelling to
space
Use synonyms
 always consumed enough money and resource
.
Accept space
.
the
Suggestion
The
 budget planned for
these mission
Suggestion
this mission
these missions
 are always huge compare to others
..
Accept space
..
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example
,
Accept space
,
 spending 1.2 million of dollars on
space
Use synonyms
 in a year is more and far expensive compare to putting the road network into better shape. Half of
these
denotes a person or thing
this
 amount can put some of the infrastructure in
better way
Suggestion
a better way
. From statistic, the amount of money spent on
space
Use synonyms
 in a year
is
Suggestion
has been
 always higher compared to other infrastructure.
This
Linking Words
space
Use synonyms
 has
plethora disadvantage
Suggestion
a plethora disadvantage
to
Suggestion
in
 the country in terms of employment Though
,
Accept space
,
space
Use synonyms
 travelling is
also
Linking Words
 very important considering some new technology that
have been put
Suggestion
has been put
 together
..
Accept space
..
its
Suggestion
It
Its
 has
help
Suggestion
helped
 us to a certain level of maturity
also
Linking Words
 to build our network technology
.
Accept space
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 some of our
network
Suggestion
networks
are build
Suggestion
are built
 and kept in
space
Use synonyms
 for better production
.
Accept space
.
How ever
Suggestion
However
, more attention
need
Suggestion
needs
 to be withdrawn from the journey to
space
Use synonyms
 In conclusion, more fund should not be spent
on
Suggestion
on space, while
space
Use synonyms
 while abandoning the little infrastructure here on earth. Money spent on
space
Use synonyms
 in a year can build better schools and
also
Linking Words
 better electricity in the country where unemployment can be cub. I
beleieve
accept as true; take to be true
believe
 paying more attention to the earth issues than
space
Use synonyms
 will create more employment for the citizen
.
Accept space
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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