IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, people use bicycles less frequently as a form of transportation. Why is this? What can be done to encourage people to use bicycles more?

#people #bicycles #form #transportation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There seems to be a phenomenon in which more and more people rely heavily on other transportation means
instead
Linking Words
 of bicycles.
This
Linking Words
 might be induced
due to
Linking Words
 convenience and poor maintenance of bicycle
lanes
Use synonyms
 so officials are in a hurry to figure out silver bullets at once. Now, I will make the phenomenon clear in order to arrive at the
last
Linking Words
 but not least conclusion. First and foremost, comfortable seats, an air conditioning unit and the speed of the
car
Use synonyms
 make people
use
Use synonyms
 their
cars
Use synonyms
 in lieu of bicycles. Particularly, riding a bicycle involves much more physical
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as pedalling and shifting gears. That's why people
use
Use synonyms
 their private
cars
Use synonyms
, which demands less physical effort and energy.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is time to tackle the
reason
Use synonyms
 without delay.
In other words
Linking Words
, the government could impose a higher amount of tax
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 ownership. It is all I have reasoned prior to putting forward the second factor and measurement. When it comes to proposing the second
reason
Use synonyms
 and silver bullet, narrow, inconsistent and unsafe
bike
Use synonyms
lanes
Use synonyms
 along the roads could be the main
reason
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 there are plenty of
Use synonyms
bike sharing
Add a hyphen
bike-sharing
show examples
 schemes.
As a result
Linking Words
 of it, individuals depend on other transportation means without severe injuries or impediments. To cite Mongolia as an example, citizens from adolescents to seniors
use
Use synonyms
 their private
cars
Use synonyms
 despite having an abundant number of
Use synonyms
bike sharing
Add a hyphen
bike-sharing
show examples
 schemes. Based on
this
Linking Words
 paradigm, the government is mandatory to invest money in maintaining
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
bike
Use synonyms
lanes
Use synonyms
 to encourage citizens to
use
Use synonyms
 bicycles more. It is the most reasonable solution.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, it is likely that investing money in constructing secure
bike
Use synonyms
lanes
Use synonyms
 could be a magnet bullet to manage
car
Use synonyms
 reliance among the citizens
whereas
Linking Words
 an enormous amount of tax could be imposed for
car
Use synonyms
 ownership for the simple
reason
Use synonyms
 that there are several culprits, including convenience of driving
cars
Use synonyms
 and poor maintenance of bicycle
lanes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by M on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to explore more diverse perspectives on the issue of decreased bicycle usage, for example, cultural factors, or health awareness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay flows more smoothly by using cohesive devices like connectives, conjunctions, and referring expressions throughout.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and a logical conclusion that accurately reflects the discussion.
task achievement
There are relevant examples, such as citing Mongolia, that support the points made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban areas
  • Bike lanes
  • Inadequate biking facilities
  • Prioritization
  • Dangerous activity
  • Motorized transport
  • Status-enhancing
  • Busier lifestyles
  • Cultural perception
  • Social status
  • Prestigious mode of transport
  • Weather conditions
  • Stigma
  • Promotion
  • Health benefits
  • Environmental benefits
  • Incentives
  • Infrastructure investment
  • Cycle-friendly policies
  • Public awareness campaigns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: