IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

In order to be successful at a sport, some think you must be physically strong while others believe mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#sport #think #strength
Everyone
want
Suggestion
wants
 to be successful, in some particular area. It could be job, researches or sometimes
sport
the occurrence of a sudden discharge (as of liquid)
spirt
. For the
last
 one there are always debates what is more important for good athlete- physical
strength
, or mental
health
. I believe, that both of them are
important but
Accept comma addition
important, but
 physical
strength
 is the key one. Mental
strength
, of course, has a great influence on a life of every
sportsman
.
Bad mental condition
Suggestion
The bad mental condition
 can affect on training schedule or
it’s
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 intensity.
Person
Suggestion
A person
The person
 who
can not
can not
cannot
 concentrate on his training, or lose his faith after
number
Suggestion
a number
the number
 of fails,
cannot became
Suggestion
cannot become
 a successful
sportsman
.
Moreover
, sometimes while tournament the best athletes lose because weak mental
health
. At the same time, without
physically
Suggestion
physical
strength
 it is quite hard to be a
sportsman
 at all. Despite there are exist a lot of Paralympic athletes, not all
kind
Suggestion
kinds
 of sports can be handled by them. The weak
health
 close almost all paths to the professional sport. Olympic
games
Accept comma addition
games, for
for
example show
Accept comma addition
example, show
 the best human kind’s possibilities, so there no place for weak bodies. I
conclusion it
Accept comma addition
conclusion, it
 should be said, that mental and physical
health
 extremely important for any
sportsman
.
However
, In my point of view body conditions play the biggest role in a life of every athlete.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: