Some people think that students in high school should study music as a compulsory school subject. Others believe that such a requirement would be a waste of valuable school study time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, studying

music

Use synonyms

is becoming increasingly popular.

Although

Linking Words

some people believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

music

Use synonyms

should be a part of the student's curriculum, others think that it is a waste of

time

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why studying

music

Use synonyms

is a beneficial thing for the

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

soul, despite being a waste of

time

Use synonyms

As well as

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

provide evidence as to why benefits

overweigh

Verb problem

outweigh

show examples

drawbacks. Studying

music

Use synonyms

has beneficial effects on

Correct article usage

the human's

show examples

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

soul. It, from the past until now, teaches human beings to be quiet and relaxed.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it enriches their soul with good morals, values and manners. In fact, there

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

a recent study

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

done on two groups of children: the first one

study

Replace the word

studied

show examples

music

Use synonyms

during their courses and the other group

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

not.

This

Linking Words

research has concluded the first group of children is

more quiet

Correct word choice

quieter

show examples

and

calm

Correct word choice

calmer

show examples

than the Second one. For these reasons, studying

music

Use synonyms

plays a crucial role in students' lives.

While

Linking Words

studying

music

Use synonyms

has many advantages, it has many disadvantages, as it wastes a lot of

time

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. Students prefer listening to

music

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instead

Linking Words

of doing their homework.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it will

avoid

Verb problem

prevent

show examples

them from studying their main subjects

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Math, Geography, and Biology.

For example

Linking Words

, if everyone

keen

Add a missing verb

is keen

show examples

on studying

music

Use synonyms

, there will be no doctors or engineers in the future.

Therefore

Linking Words

, making

music

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a part of students' courses is a

Use synonyms

time wasting

Add a hyphen

time-wasting

show examples

. In conclusion, whether or not, studying

music

Use synonyms

is an argumentative issue. Even though, some people think that it should be a compulsory school subject, others say

that is

Linking Words

a waste of valuable school study

time

Use synonyms

. From my point of view, After

thorough

Correct article usage

a thorough

show examples

analysis

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

subject, it is predicted that the positive effects of the debate over studying

music

Use synonyms

will always be greater than the adverse effects, and because of

this

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

will be a compulsory subject.

dentamratefMon Feb 10 2020

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task achievement

The introduction could be stronger by clearly stating both views separately and your position more explicitly.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the transitions between paragraphs for better flow. For instance, use linking phrases to show how one idea leads to another.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, especially in the disadvantages section.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear viewpoint and attempts to address both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

task achievement

The discussion of the benefits of music is well articulated and expresses a valid perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
cognitive abilities
academic performance
creativity
self-expression
artistic talents
interpersonal skills
pressure
core academic subjects
disengagement
optional subjects
elective subjects

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Some people think that students in high school should study music as a compulsory school subject. Others believe that such a requirement would be a waste of valuable school study time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Challenge 4 : In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many students around the world don’t choose science subjects at university. Give the reasons for this and describe the impact on the community?

In their advertising,businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this?Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's character and culture from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?