IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

#countries #cities #people #world #government
In
this
 era of globalization, people are moving to and fro from their countries, and prefer to settle in the developed
natons
a politically organized body of people under a single government
nations
, with world-class standard of living and infrastructure. Due to
this
, many countries nowadays have multiple cosmopolitan cities with people from different parts of the world, which is ultimately leading to the need
of
Suggestion
for
governments
Suggestion
government
government's
 intervention to ensure peace and harmony in the country.
Firstly
,
government
 needs to be alert and proactive in making reforms and rules for the immigrants, and there should be
transparent platform
Suggestion
a transparent platform
 for immigrants to raise their issues and concerns smoothly.
This
 will
creat
make or cause to be or to become
create
 a sense of belongingness among aspirants from different part of the world and will help in building trust within them and the
socitey
an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization
society
societies
 in which they live.
For example
, happy immigrants will not create any
hussle
an angry disturbance
hassle
hassles
hustle
 in the society they live and there will ultimately be peace and harmony around. Apart from the aforementioned point,
government
 should
also
 arrange for cultural programmes and should encourage people to participate and represent their culture.
This
 will help people in knowing each other's culture and
their
in or at that place
there
 will ultimately understand each other better.
Further
, it will
also
 help in curbing the racism. To
conculde
decide by reasoning; draw or come to a conclusion
conclude
coincide
concede
, harmony among
cosmopolitian
growing or occurring in many parts of the world
cosmopolitan
 cities is not possible without
government
's intervention, and
government
 should
continously
at every point
continuously
continually
 come with updated new methods to ensure people live together
harmonously
in a harmonious manner
harmoniously
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: