IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Reported 2017, Academic Test)

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people #test
Today, actors are more popular for their money and glamorous lifestyle than rather than for their contribution to the industry, which can have a detrimental impact on the youth. I my opinion, I completely agree with the aforementioned sentence.
Firstly
, typically stars have a big fan following especially major the portion of their following is youth. Followers always try to look, behave and live according to the similar lifestyle as their idol. In the current situation, it can be seen that celebrities are spending a lot of money on exotic cars and on high cost cloths which is very appealing to their fans.
Consequently
, they try to do the same which might not be feasible to their budget.
Secondly
, after gaining the
stardium
a large structure for open-air sports or entertainments
stadium
studio
 in the industry, they start drinking or smoking in the public places which makes young generation think that it is cool to smoke and drink since their role models are doing it.
Furthermore
, celebrities are often used for marketing and advertisement purposes for goods that are unhealthy and high in price. Promotion of
this
 product from them manipulates people’s decision and they end up purchasing those expensive goods without thinking.
Finally
, life style of celebrity always seems tempting to their fans, and they try to achieve the same thing by any means
as a result
 sometimes they might end up in unethical activity which might land them
into
Suggestion
in
 jail sometime. People start doing criminal activity in order to gain finance they require for spending money like their favourite actor. In conclusion, I believe most of the time celebrity’s bad behaviour in public places impacts people in a more negative way than the positive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: