One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #outweigh

Nowadays, the world is more and more developed,

hence

the medical care is

also

improved so people are living longer and

life

expectancy

is increasing. I believe that it brings more advantages than disadvantages.

Firstly

, the conditions of living are improving, especially medical care, people

Suggestion

goes

to the hospital to check their health regularly, they can detect and cure dangerous disease sooner.

Therefore

, people's lifetime is longer.

For example

, if someone finds out they have early-stage cancer, they will be treated early and sustain

life

. The focus on food choices

also

increased, people will know which foods are clean, what foods are healthy.

In addition

, the increase in

life

expectancy

will help many professionals, teachers, researcher or doctors

to devote

Suggestion

devote

more to the country.

Secondly

, one thing to worry about that

life

expectancy

is increasing means the retiring age will later. Young people after graduated can not find a job because

elder

advanced in years; ('aged' is pronounced as two syllables)

older

people are in

this

position with more experience. So that the government needs to spend much money to support young people and create more jobs to keep an unemployment rate not increase. But thanks to that, there will be many generations in a family living together. Descendants will live with grandparents, they will learn about many things related to history and tradition. In conclusion, the advantages of increased

life

expectancy

outweigh the disadvantages,

Life

is precious and the government should spend more money on medical care in any way possible. All of us want to live longer and contribute to our family and country for as long as possible.

Submitted by khanrois89 on Wed Feb 12 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your Overseas friend has invited you to visit his country. You are planning to visit him. Write a letter to your friend, In your letter. •Thank him for the invitation & accept the invitation. •Write detail about your visit. •Briefly describe what you want to do there

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of maney and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people don't have the natural ability to learn languages. Some schools should force students to learn foreign languages. Agree or Disagree?

Some people think that technology is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor . Others argue that the opposite is true . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.