The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006.

#market #phone #years

The table is showing us the

of mobile phone sales in the

market

companies

. The graph compares the 2005

market

companies

with the year 2006. In 2005, Nokia had 32.5% of the

market

which increased by 2.5% by 2006.

Similarly

, Motorola followed the same trend and

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

market

rose from 17.7% to 21.1% by 2006.

However

, there was a decrease from 12.7% to 11.8% in Samsung's

market

by 2006.

Additionally

companies

with

market

Add an article

a market

show examples

of 7% and lower displayed mixed results. Sony Ericsson's

market

rose from 6.3% to 7.4%. At the same time, L.G's

market

dropped from 6.7% to 6.3%

Moreover

, BenQ Mobile's

market

also

dropped from 4.9% to 2.4%. Other

companies

also

followed

this

trend and their

market

dropped from 19.2% to 16.2% by 2006.

Submitted by chhabriajash2 on Wed Feb 12 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words share, market, companies with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

137 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006.

Many cities around the world are facing severe air pollution problems. What do you think are the main causes of this issue? Suggest some possible solutions.

This drawing guides you through the steps for making freeze-dried coffee from start to finish. This is a linear process.

Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

. Many people believe that it is good idea to have dress code at place. Do you agree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather that secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?