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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that children’s leisure activity must be educational other wise they are complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #children’s #leisure #activity #waste #time
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In modern times “education” is something un
separable f
not capable of being separated
inseparable
rom children’s life. It can be ca
se t
Suggestion
the case
a case
hat children may enjoy their educational activities.
However
Linking Words
 ,
c
Accept space
,
hildren used to tired with educational activities and they transfer their attention to other activities for leisure
time
Use synonyms
. It is completely acceptable and reasonable.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Not every child in the world has same habits and hobbies. Children are suppose to enjoy their childhood, in our so
ciety education i
Accept comma addition
society, education
s must
nonetheless
Linking Words
 education can
also
Linking Words
 be stressful for children.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Fun
time
Use synonyms
 is something related to getting rid of stress and regain the energy for work. If children are su
ppose t
Suggestion
supposed
o do same as they do wh
ole day i
Suggestion
the whole day
n their free
time
Use synonyms
. There are possibilities they may lose energy, concentration and capacity.
As a result
Linking Words
 the main purpose of fun activities is destroyed. If students do th
ey w
objective case of they
them
hat they please to do in leisure
time
Use synonyms
, it can reduce bu
rden.
Suggestion
the burden
Being ti
mepassed it i
Accept comma addition
time passed, it
time passed it
s
also
Linking Words
 possible to transfer their hobby into a successful career. Even though it may not be co
ncerted i
spiritually reborn or converted
converted
nto career it can have a vast effect in st
udent’s educational profile.
Suggestion
the student’s educational profile
 In
this
Linking Words
 world every kind of talent is needed like we need singer, painter, artist, businessmen and science. If every child in the world will aim to be sc
ientist w
Suggestion
scientifically
hat we will do with so many “Einstein”? So in my
opinion le
Accept comma addition
opinion, let
t leisure
time
Use synonyms
 be meaningful and worthwhile, it is advisable that parents should not interfere in children’s play
time
Use synonyms
 until it is harmful and let them enjoy their precious
time
Use synonyms
Submitted by hiteshpatel8155 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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