Shopping is dangerous because it makes people selfish, and careless with money do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, to go for purchasing has been considered as menacing and eventually makes

person

Suggestion

a person

the person

people

self-centred as well as extravagant. I firmly disagree with the given opinion and the reasons for my stand will be justified

further

in the ensuing paragraphs. Out of all the reasons the foremost one is

although

the advertisement may appear appealing and perfectly at

perticular age group

Suggestion

a particular age group

particular age group

, folks now do more research using the modern technology.

For instance

, one can find any

products

Suggestion

product

review online without

hustle

Suggestion

the hustle

and saves money by not becoming

victim

Suggestion

a victim

victims

of attractive TV commercial

;

Accept space

;

also

spend those extra money on their beloved ones.

Therefore

, shopping will not be harmful, if the purchaser is well educated and has a better knowledge of technology. Another reason for my support is

also

based on how an individual uses his or her brain.

Inspite

Suggestion

In spite

of credit

cards

Suggestion

card's

card

availability, which

oftenly

not used deliberately by uneducated people, intelligent one own

cradit

approval

credit

card with low limit

;

Accept space

;

hence

escaped from miserable condition

such

as dire debt.

Moreover

, it is commonly observed that by doing shopping people can not only overcome

mental stress level

Suggestion

the mental stress level

but

also

stays updated about recent fashion. In

this

state of mind folks often pick up gifts for family

Accept space

so shopping will neither make anyone self

obssesd

having or showing excessive or compulsive concern with something

obsessed

nor extravagant, if

person

Suggestion

a person

the person

is brainy. Futhermore, purchasing enhances person's creativity and keeps well aware about updated

trends;Consequantly

boost confidence of

buyer

Suggestion

buyers

the buyer

. To illustrate, take an example of a woman who visits

shopping mall

Suggestion

the shopping mall

a shopping mall

once in a month, buys and own more decorative households as well as trendy clothes, which provide wings to her confidence,

hence

shopping is not harmful. In conclusion, purchasing brings pleasure, a feeling of satisfaction and

also

helps to overcome stress

Accept space

so it is not harmful until the purchaser is brainy and uses modern technology wisely.

Submitted by gb10770 on Thu Feb 13 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

296 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping is dangerous because it makes people selfish, and careless with money do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that cinemas will one day close due to the popularity of online streaming services for films and series. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, an increasing number people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating fast food. It is, therefore necessary for government to impose higher tax of this kind of food. To what extent do you agree of disagree?