IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

A large amount of advertisements nowadays are targeted at children. Many people say these have negative effects on children and should therefore be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #advertisements #children #people #effects
The debate on the impact of advertisements on children has been contentious lately. Some people are of the opinion that advertisements have a negative impact on children while others do not think
likewise
. I completely agree that advertisements should not be shown to children because of the negative influence that it will have on them. The most compelling reason for my view is that I believe that advertisements are just a form of marketing gimmicks, targeted at specific audiences to convince them into buying unnecessary items. In
this
 case, when children are exposed to advertisements relating to toys, chances are that they will be pestering their parents to splurge on redundant objects. The money spent on these items could have been spent on more practical items. The
next
 reason to support my opinion is that nowadays advertising companies invested a humongous amount of money
into
Suggestion
in
 advertising food. Take Macdonalds as an example, it is a fast-food restaurant that serves unhealthy foods.
However
, in recent years, the advertisements have been improvised to create an illusion of healthy burgers selling in Macdonalds. Many children who were influenced by the false advertising, has chosen to take
burger
Suggestion
a burger
the burger
 and fries on a regular basis.
As a result
, they all struggled to deal with obesity at a tender age. The
last
 reason to support my viewpoint is that, in a recent survey conducted on parents with young children, they shared that their children are often buying items as a form of competition among their peers due to the influence of advertisements. Personally, I feel that it is indirectly promoting a materialistic lifestyle among children as they spend unnecessarily to compete with one another. To conclude, I strongly believe that it is imperative to ban all advertisements as it has proven to have a negative impact on children.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: