Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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As it’s profoundly insisted on by the public, investment in the preservation of endangered mammal habitats is regarded as a waste of income.From my perspective, endangered mammals play a crucial and fundamental role in the ecosystem and protection is regarded as a necessity to keep our biodiversity flowing .
On the other hand
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, the extinction process is a part of the revolution and a natural procedure which is impossible to circumvent.
Additionally
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, the
money
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should be invested in the nourishment of starved African children and in the improvement of educational systems and facilities
instead
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.
According to
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Harvard University research, plant and animal
species
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are the cornerstone of healthy ecosystems. An endangered
species
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is an indicator that the environment is gradually collapsing. Within its ecosystem, the extinction of one
species
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leads to the extinction of others. Ecosystems that are in good condition are essential to human well-being.Scientists have found various ways of protecting endangered
animals
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such
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as the installation of natural conservation forests where hunting
animals
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is prohibited.
For instance
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, the most famous forest in Armenia where hunting of
animals
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is illegal is the Khosrov state forest. Evaluations have been made regarding the income spent on the preservation of endangered
animals
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by scientists.
As a result
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, statistics indicate that more than fifty-tenths are spent on the preservation of endangered mammals worldwide.
Thus
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, little to no dividend is spent on the enhancement of educational facilities and systems.
Moreover
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, a substantial amount of toddlers are left starved in Africa
due to
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a lack of goods.In order to combat these hurdles government should devote
money
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to equipping the schools with the necessary equipment and creating charities that aid the children of Africa with basic provisions.
To sum up
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, whether
money
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should be devoted to preserving endangered
species
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or not is a controversial topic.From my viewpoint, it’s essential to dedicate
money
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to keep endangered
species
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since they are building blocks of our biodiversity.
However
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, there are other more compelling problems that need urgent resolution
such
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as world hunger and unsatisfactory educational systems and buildings.
Submitted by hrushik2006 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to immediately clarify your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Balance the development of arguments across paragraphs for better cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the essay's flow.
Task Achievement
Consider exploring both views more evenly before presenting your own viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Incorporation of research and statistics to support your arguments adds credibility to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion helps in effectively organizing your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • existential threat
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • economic benefits
  • funding allocation
  • competing needs
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