IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #spaces #squares #parks
It is true that large public areas
such
 as squares and parks play a crucial role in all cities. While I believe that
this
 may bring certain benefits, I would argue that it is unnecessary for urban areas to have these spaces. On the one hand, there are certain reasons why the metropolis should build public zones.
Firstly
, the city dwellers reap the benefit of the health of public places. Having open spaces in the metropolis is encouraging residents to engage in extracurricular and recreational activities
outdoor
Suggestion
outdoors
, which can help people keep fit and healthy. It is apparent that a park is an ideal place for people to do exercise with others,
as a result
, it might deter them from potential health risks
such
 as obesity or cardiovascular diseases.
Secondly
, public areas may boost the development tourism sector because of their attractiveness and beauty.
For example
 Times Square in New York City attracts millions of visitors to the United States annually,
therefore
,
this
 can contribute to considerable incomes from tourism services.
On the other hand
, I believe that it is difficult for all cities can invest in public places. Due to the shortage of land in some urban areas would curb building parks or squares.
For example
, Ha Noi, which is a city of Viet Nam, has the limited number of public zones.
This
 is because the large spaces would be allocated for road systems or accommodation to
serves
Suggestion
serve
 densely populated in these.
Besides
, prolonged public spaces require a lot of cost
such
 as repair, maintenance. It may be the culprit of
burden
Suggestion
a burden
financial
Suggestion
financially
 for many poor countries, where should pour budget into education, health care services
instead
 of public areas. In conclusion, it is necessary for towns
to have
Suggestion
have
 large public
spaces but
Accept comma addition
spaces, but
 it
also
 depends on each
circumstances
Suggestion
circumstance
, whether or not the towns can afford them.
Submitted by ngocanh102ct on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: