IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Plants and
species
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 are affected by human activities. A large number of people think that we do not have much
time
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 to protect plants and
species
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,
whereas
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 others say that effective actions would improve
this
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 worst condition.
This
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 essay agrees that practical efforts from the authorities would improve
this
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 worst circumstance. On the one hand, plants and
species
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 are already endangered position
due to
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 human activities and we do not have much
time
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 to protect these creatures.
For example
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, Indian white tigers are endangered wild
animals
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 because of poaching which means these animal's skin and teeth are in huge demand in the black market,
thus
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, now we have very few of these
animals
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. To be more precise, forests were altered into people's accommodation places
while
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 wild
animals
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 lost their motherland and were captivated in zoos.
Therefore
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, there is no
time
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 to protect these
species
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 because we already destroyed them.
On the other hand
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, there is a chance to conserve these
species
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 by effective actions from the government. Strict punishment should be implemented who poaching wild
animals
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 and many forest officers should be appointed to retain them.
For instance
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, the black market should be monitored by the local forest officers and residents to avoid illegal hunting.
In addition
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, people should build houses only the residential locations
besides
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 forests and wild areas; the ruling party
also
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 should provide permission to build apartments only in residential places.
Hence
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, these are the effective measures that can improve
this
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 worst circumstance.
To conclude
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, wild creatures are affected by human activities like cutting trees and building more flats in forest spaces, so adverse situations cannot be solved because we do not have much
time
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 to do anything,
although
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 strict rules against poachers and occupying wild places to build flats from the ruling party
this
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 situation should improve.
Therefore
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, I agree that strict rules can be improved.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is developed logically. The coherence could be improved by ensuring a smoother flow between ideas with better use of linking words and phrases.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are both clear and direct, relating closely to the essay topic and your opinion. Avoid introducing new concepts in the conclusion that were not discussed in the main body.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points could be better supported with specific examples and evidence. Rather than merely stating your opinion, substantiate your arguments with clear examples and rationale.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that you discuss both views and give your own opinion. The response should be fully developed, with each point explained and supported.
Task Achievement
Strive to articulate your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid overly complicated sentences that can confuse the reader or make the argument less clear.
Task Achievement
Incorporate examples that are directly relevant to your argument. Make sure that the examples provided are specific enough to support your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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