We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

#computers #business #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #future #dependence

The 21st century has witnessed an immense development due to the introduction of computers and its related technologies. It has

paved path

Suggestion

a paved path

paved paths

towards having a smart approach in every walk of life and there is no doubt that its services will reach beyond

ones

Suggestion

one's

imagination.

However

, it still remains a topic of debate to claim its strengths and drawbacks, which will be elaborated in the following essay.

Firstly

, the inception of these smart gadgets in our day to day have not only made life so simple but

also

helped in getting

works

Suggestion

the works

done swiftly and easily.

For instance

, its application in the banking sector

have made

Suggestion

has made

makes

make

is making

the daily transactions simple and

faster

Suggestion

fast

, presently, an international money transfer takes

few minutes

Suggestion

a few minutes

in comparison with the olden days that used to take weeks to receive a money order.

Similarly

, we are witnessing a revolution, where we are able to buy any goods online at the click of a button. Amazon, ebay are some of the famous websites that are promoting affordable online merchandise which is making life simple on one hand and threatening the future

dependency

Suggestion

depends

depending

depend

depended

on these gadgets. As it is said that every revolution has its limitation, so do the evolution of

computer

Suggestion

the computer

and its related services

also

have its dark side. The increased

dependency

over these smart devices is increasing the distance

among

Suggestion

between

each other, which can be witnessed by the amount of time a parent spends with their

off-springs

the immediate descendants of a person

offspring

, which used to be not the case in those healthy olden days.

Finally

, after a clear analysis, it can be emphasized that the

dependency

of mankind on the computers is a boon, if utilized its services, observing its limitations. Over

dependency

can lead to a technological black out that will freeze the world.

Submitted by kodaikkal on Thu Feb 13 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Autonomous vehicles
Smart traffic management
AI (Artificial Intelligence)
Machine learning
Personalized treatment
Virtual classrooms
AI tutors
Smart homes
Energy consumption
Grocery shopping automation
Data analysis
Decision-making assistance
Efficiency
Mainstream adoption
Predictive algorithms
Personalization

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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Q-In town and cities the large shopping mall should replace the small local shops. Do you agree or disagree?

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of social media!

In some countries, young people like to live on their own or live with their friends after finishing school. Some think it is a good idea. Do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree and disagree?

In many countries, there is an increase in the proportion of ageing population. Some people think that old people over the age of sixty-five cannot contribute to our society any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?