IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

This
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 essay argues that
tourists
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 from other countries should not pay higher fees than local
visitors
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 for sightseeing.
While
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 some people believe that all humans should be treated equally no matter what, I support the idea that international
visitors
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 should receive the same treatment as local residents. On one hand, there are clear arguments that local citizens may see foreign
visitors
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 as a threat to their economy and well-being. One reason is that foreign
tourists
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 spend a huge amount of money when they travel.
This
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 means that the regular
prices
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 of certain items may increase
due to
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 the high demand from
tourists
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, which will affect the local purchasing power. Another reason is that when
tourists
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 pay more for tourist attractions, the government can use
this
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 additional income to develop cultural and historical sites,
such
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 as building new areas and enhancing facilities.
On the other hand
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, I agree with the viewpoint that all people should be treated equally in every circumstance.
Firstly
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, I believe that raising
prices
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 only for foreign
visitors
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 would be considered a scam, as locals do not pay the same amount, and
this
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 could result in mistrust between
tourists
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 and the host country.
Secondly
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, I
also
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 feel that if
prices
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 keep increasing only for foreigners, they will eventually start looking for other destinations that offer fair
prices
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. In conclusion, it seems to me that if governments and local citizens want to maintain a strong relationship with
tourists
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, they need to show integrity and offer fair
prices
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 to everyone.

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specific examples
Make sure to have clear examples to support your points.
logical structure
Organize your ideas better to make your essay easier to follow.
clear ideas
Include more strong reasons or details to back up your main ideas.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is good.
balanced view
You present both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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