Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that are other external factors that influenced us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have differing views about how to achieve
happiness
in
life
. While some people believe that it depends on themselves, others consider external factors for being happy. I think that both intrinsic and extrinsic factors lead to a feeling of bliss. On the one hand, for many people, the sense of
happiness
is derived from their attitude on
life
. They believe that having a positive outlook can relieve the pains of causes that they enjoy living in the hectic lifestyle. When individuals get pleasure from plenty of things
such
as playing, laughing, spending time with family and friends and so on, they can feel an inner satisfaction which is a kind of
happiness
. So,
happiness
depends on our intrinsic conditions. If one is not content with her or his current circumstances, they do not have to bear them and can change or improve them to be happy.
On the other hand
, other extrinsic factors make people feel happy which some basic preconditions to achieving
happiness
is. It is hard for a person to be happy if he or she does not have a safe place for living, enough food to eat and even a good income; these basic survival needs must be met before individuals can lead a pleasant
life
. There are many disadvantaged people,
for example
, suffer from a disease and cannot afford cure costs just because of not having enough money, so they do not feel happy. In conclusion, I believe that,
however
, our thinking way is a primitive factor for being happy, I admit that other external factors are overshadowed our
happiness
in
life
.
Submitted by ha.khalifipour on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: