Zoos are meant for entertainment at the cost of animals? right to roam around without restrictions. Therefore, Zoos should be banned. Discuss.

7.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

It is widely recognised that wild species in the zoo are badly affected, for many reasons.

This

Linking Words

issue has generated significant discussion regarding the terrible

situation

Use synonyms

of the

animals

Use synonyms

in different kinds of zoos and the possible solution to provide both entertainment and a healthy environment for the creatures.

This

Linking Words

essay examines both aspects in detail to provide an objective analysis of the

situation

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 1

To begin

Linking Words

with, there is a compelling argument concerning the main drawback that affects zoo

animals

Use synonyms

negatively in a small area. The primary factor behind

this

Linking Words

is that the

animals

Use synonyms

can't live their natural life in the same way as if they were in their habitat.

As a result

Linking Words

animals

Use synonyms

become weaker. A clear illustration of

this

Linking Words

can be seen in many zoos that provide medical and healthcare facilities for the

animals

Use synonyms

, which highlights the practical impact of

this

Linking Words

situation

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, another crucial factor to consider is the concept of the safari that has a magnificent impact on wild creatures.

This

Linking Words

can be addressed

due to

Linking Words

the fact that a safari is a huge reserve that forms a real natural environment for the

animals

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

, wild species can live in their original habitat,

while

Linking Words

people can enjoy outdoor trips.

For instance

Linking Words

, recent studies in the environment demonstrate that the

animals

Use synonyms

in the reserves are healthier.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

the concept of the zoo is a major source of entertainment, it is equally important to address that the health of wild

animals

Use synonyms

needs to be considered , too. Ultimately, effective strategies should be implemented to manage

this

Linking Words

ongoing

situation

Use synonyms

Ghassan

Sep 28, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer the main question more directly. State if zoos should be banned, or if they should stay open with strong rules. Your essay talks about safari parks, but it does not clearly discuss both sides of banning zoos.

task response

Develop each main idea with a clear reason and result. For example, explain how small cages can harm an animal’s body and mind, then give one real or clear example.

task response

Make your examples more exact. “Many zoos” and “recent studies” are too general. Give a clear case, such as a large animal that cannot move enough in a small space.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. However, the second body part changes from zoos to safari parks. Link this point clearly to the question by saying whether safari parks are a better choice than zoos.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences. For example: “One reason to ban zoos is that animals cannot live as they do in the wild.” This helps the reader follow your main point.

coherence and cohesion

The last paragraph should give a firm final view. Do not only say that action is needed. Say exactly what action should happen, such as banning small zoos or changing them into large animal parks.

task response

You focus on animal health and natural living space, which are key ideas for this topic.

coherence and cohesion

The essay uses a clear four-part form: opening, two main parts, and a final paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

You use linking words such as “To begin with”, “On the other hand”, “Consequently”, and “In conclusion” to show the order of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Governments should provide their people with health care programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Governments bear a fundamental responsibility to establish comprehensive healthcare programmes for their citizens. While I concur that it is incumbent upon governments to ensure healthcare coverage, I contend that the burden of funding these initiatives should not solely rest on the state.
7.5
band
In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?
In light of the proliferation of amenities, agricultural lands are now sorely lacking causing dwellers to repurpose numerous open spaces into farming sites. Although it may indeed have potential drawbacks to society, it is eclipsed by substantial benefits offered to the masses.
6.5
band
The growth of multinational companies and the resulting rise of globalization creates positive effects for all. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary times, one school of thought holds that the development of international corporations and existing value of globalization brings beneficial value for all works of life. While I accept this perception is somewhat justified, I believe that phenomenon also causes some drawbacks to that notion.
6.5
band
Many young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities leaving behind an elderly population. What are the problems associated with this? What can be done about it?
There is no denying that the younger population leaves their rural areas to live in a big city and leave over their older family member. this can have many negative effects on society. Firmly, I believe that it can be coped with different strategies.
6.5
band
Some people believe that universities shold only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people consider that universities target students who have high marks in their primary classes. While others argue that students must be selected on the basis of their age or potential to learn new things. From my perspective, I firmly agree with the latter statement.

Zoos are meant for entertainment at the cost of animals? right to roam around without restrictions. Therefore, Zoos should be banned. Discuss.

Governments should provide their people with health care programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

The growth of multinational companies and the resulting rise of globalization creates positive effects for all. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities leaving behind an elderly population. What are the problems associated with this? What can be done about it?

Some people believe that universities shold only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.