IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sport activities as they allocate to their libraries. To what extent do you agree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant examples or experience you have to support your answer.

#universities #amount #money #students’ #sport #activities #libraries #support
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In the modern world, students should be a versatile person in order to achieve their goals. In
this
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 regard,
although
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 there is an opinion that academic institutions should only concentrate on the funding of libraries, others feel that learners’ physical activity is essential. Personally, I reckon that there is should be a balance between the funding of libraries and sport facilities.
First
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 of all, students should keep their shape fit in order to get the energy for their study.
Therefore
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, it is widely known that less physical activity can lead to the deterioration of the students’ performances. To illustrate, many successful students are keen to do physical exercises,
such
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 as jogging and work out in the gym.
Secondly
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, it can be beneficial for their health.
That is
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 to say, doing exercises can improve their well-being and academic success.
Moreover
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, some students cannot attend the classes because of their poor health. A good illustration of
this
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 is unhealthy learners, because they are often forced to visit hospitals,
instead
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 of visiting schools and universities.
On the other hand
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, equal distribution of the government budget for sport activities and libraries can be a financial burden.
Therefore
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, the authorities can face with shortage of financial resources. To illustrate, many governors are not keen to fund libraries, because of its high prices for facilities.
Secondly
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, the government should pay attention to the demand. It is widely accepted that libraries are not essential as sport facilities, because they are losing their role in the society.
For example
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, many individuals are willing to get the information from the internet,
instead
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 of visiting libraries. In conclusion,
although
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 the idea of equal distribution of these two facilities can be beneficial for the individuals, providing them with necessary equipments can be challenging for the authorities.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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