One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #outweigh

Technological advancements have not only attributed to many new scientific discoveries but

also

remarkably impacted medicine and medical science.

This

century is blessed with comprehensive medical care and the lifespan of people has enhanced through modern medicines and treatments. I believe the result has enlightened the human civilisation and the disadvantages of increasing life expectancy are

ignorable

Ultra-modern

Suggestion

Ultramodern

facilities and advanced medicines have transformed medical facilities and cured many deadly diseases. With improved lifespan, people can contribute more to society. Early retirement plans let them start another profession as they are more active these days.

For instance

, many professionals these days start their own business after their retirements.

This

trend welcomes freshers to have jobs and eradicate unemployment.

Moreover

, as a direct result of improved life-expectancy, people can spend more time with their family and grandchildren. Working parents can leave their children in safe hands while at work. The way grandparents care for their grandchildren is incomparable to the attention they would receive from a daycare centre. From

this

regard, we need our elder parents to be with us more than ever before.

Finally

, the way many see the elder generation as a responsibility to society is no longer true. These elder people can share their experience that we can use to build a better and safer world. Older politicians, bankers, writers and researchers have far more to offer than their young counterparts. In conclusion, improved lifespan profoundly benefits the family as well as society. We should feel obliged to treat our ancestors as they did for us when we were children. They are no longer a burden, but an asset for the country.

Submitted by abouelseifein on Sat Feb 15 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that death penalty is the only way to decrease the rate of crime. while others believe that there are other better ways. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

University education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology, and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?