IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that the governmant is waisting money on the arts and that this money could be better to spend elsewhere

#people #governmant #money #arts
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Nowadays there is the opinion based on the idea that the government should not spend a lot of money on
art
Use synonyms
 industry and it is better to support other parts of the society.
This
Linking Words
 essay disagrees that there are other more important issues where the government should invest more money than on the arts.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will prove the idea of positive
art
Use synonyms
 influence on
people
Suggestion
peoples
’ mental health and
secondly
Linking Words
, it will show how important is to develop
art
Use synonyms
 industry in order to make it the evidence of the epoch.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, thousands of years
art
Use synonyms
 is playing a significant part of human’s life. It allows them not only to create something fascinating and beautiful, but
also
Linking Words
 to relieve stress, express their emotions and get away from bad thoughts.
For example
Linking Words
, a lot
psychologists
Suggestion
psychologist's
 advice their patients
to attend
Suggestion
attend
 different
art
Use synonyms
 workshops in order to give their brain some time to rest and
such
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
 therapies definitely should be supported.
Also
Linking Words
, no doubt, that
art
Use synonyms
 is one of the main signs of the time. Through the
art
Use synonyms
 people have a chance to understand the thoughts, ideas and fears of their ancestors.
For instance
Linking Words
, ancient people made a lot of drawings on the walls of the caves, where they have been living thousands of years and now, they greatly help historians to recreate and realize our own history. To sum up, the
art
Use synonyms
 industry definitely should be supported by the authorities in order to help the citizens to overcome their life problems through
art
Use synonyms
 therapies and let people
to express
Suggestion
express
 their ideas and thoughts.
Submitted by a.mingeyy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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