IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
It is argued that an extra charge should be levied over the foreign tourists who visit places of
tourist
 attractions in a
country
. I completely disagree with
this
 view. In my opinion, it would be detrimental,
therefore
, in
this
 essay, I shall ponder over my argument and
also
 suggest some alternate options to generate more revenue.
To begin
 with, one of the reason there should not be extra charges for the foreign
tourist
 is it will put negative impact in the mind of these foreign tourists. Tourism plays a major role in
country's economy
Suggestion
the country's economy
a country's economy
. Due to these foreign
tourist
 foreign currency comes into our
country
 and the
nations
Suggestion
nation's
 currency grows stronger in the international market.
Moreover
, a number of businesses
such
 as hotels, restaurant, transportation services run through income from these foreign tourists only. Charging
extra price
Suggestion
an extra price
from
Suggestion
for
 them will make them feel looted and discriminated which will discourage them from visiting our
country
 again. To generate extra income, a VIP
ticket
 should be introduced at the places of
tourist
 attraction with some special services so that those tourists who want to make use of these special facilities could buy
this
ticket
.
This
 way more revenue could be generated without making foreign tourists feel biased. To exemplify, Vaishno Devi shrine in India has a VIP ticketing system, with
this
ticket
tourist
 can fly to the Vaishno Devi Valley by helicopter and can pay their visit inside the temple through a separate door, avoiding the long queue. In conclusion, I would reiterate that en cashing higher charges from the foreign
tourist
 will be detrimental as it will discourage them from visiting again,
however
 a special
ticket
 system will generate more revenue without being discriminatory.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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