Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
argue that permission to own guns would ensure the safety of individuals, and eventually, it would reduce the
crime
rate.
However
, I disagree that gun ownership is an effective solution to lower the number of crimes.
This
essay will discuss the drawbacks of gun ownership and the other potential solutions to lower the
crime
rate and increase the safety of
people
.
Firstly
,
people
can misuse guns in a number of ways. They can intentionally shoot others when they have issues with them and for robbery. It results in the killing of innocents
such
as children, women and the elderly, depending on the place where the gunfire takes place. The mental status of a person may change over the course of their life. Mentally ill patients can kill others without knowing the consequences of it. A prime example of
this
is, recently in NovaScotia, Canada, a dentist who had some mental health issues performed a gun shooting at a grocery store and killed two civilians.
Secondly
, there are so many other potential solutions, including stricter punishments, prisoning and increasing fines can be implemented to decrease the
crime
rate. These hard punishments would discourage
people
from getting involved in illegal activities.
In addition
, advanced monitoring systems
such
as CCTV cameras can be installed at schools, airports and hospitals to catch criminals.
People
would hesitate to engage in crimes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they are aware that they are being monitored.
For example
, a recent report mentioned that the installation of home security systems significantly reduced car theft in Ontario province. In summary, I do not believe that allowing
people
to own guns is the best solution to control crimes as there are other important solutions
such
as heavy punishments and effective monitoring systems that can be implemented to deter
crime
rates and enhance the safety of the general public.
Submitted by gowsht on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a solid argument against gun ownership as a means to reduce crime, it could further elaborate on the benefits others perceive in gun ownership for self-defense. A balanced argument would strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph. This helps in organizing your thoughts better and making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly framing your argument.
relevant specific examples
You support your points with relevant and specific examples, making your argument more convincing.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured with clear transitions between ideas, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advocate
  • debate
  • controversial
  • firearm
  • self-defense
  • crime prevention
  • deterrence
  • gun violence
  • gun control laws
  • public safety
  • accidental discharge
  • suicide prevention
  • impulsive
  • accessibility
  • legislation
  • firearm regulation
  • balancing
  • individual rights
  • crime rate
  • violence
  • arguments
  • opponents
  • supporters
  • proponents
  • second amendment
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