IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
Nowadays, there are a lot of students who have a part-time job while they are at school.
This
 extra burden may deprive them of study time and subject them to constant mental stress. The rest of
this
 essay will examine the underlying causes of
this
 situation and offers some ideas as to how to solve
this
 problem. Apparently, students like everyone else, have to pay for a lot of daily expenses for themselves. Tuition fee easily accounts for a majority of their budget. While many colleges and universities their tuition fees very high, some parents cannot fully afford the higher
education
 for their children.
Consequently
, these students have to work to help pay for their university and college fees. The other reason is living expenses. Many students study away from their hometowns, and have to pay for accommodation, food, entertainment etc.
As a result
, some students are forced to earn money to afford their living. I think that the problem of students working during their study results in lower quality of
education
 and has no benefits at all.
Thus
, it should be solved on the governmental level. I can suggest two possible solutions to
this
 issue.
Firstly
, the government could make higher
education
 free.
For instance
,
this
 result can be achieved by financing educational establishments from the country’s budget. Not only will it make universities and colleges accessible for everyone, but it will
also
 reduce the number of working students. The
second
 solution is promoting inexpensive e-learning.
Such
 form of online
education
 doesn’t require a lot of resources to be maintained. What’s more, students don’t have to leave their homes and can significantly reduce their monthly expenses to a point that they do not need to work a part-time job, affording them their full attention to their
education
. In conclusion, I believe that mainly lack of financial resources is the main reason for students having to work, but
this
 problem can be solved by lowering the amount of financial expenses students have to meet.
Submitted by johnny220088 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: