IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that zoos are cruel and morally wrong because they only keep animals in captivity. Others think that zoos play a variety of important roles aside from entertaining the public. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #zoos #animals #captivity #variety #roles
Some people believe that keeping
animals
 in
zoos
 is unethical and inhumane
due to
 the confinement they experience,
while
 others argue that
zoos
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 important functions beyond merely entertaining visitors.
This
 essay will explore both viewpoints and provide reasons for supporting the latter perspective, emphasizing
conservation
 and educational benefits. On one hand, critics argue that
zoos
 fail to provide
animals
 with suitable environments compared to their natural habitats.
For instance
, elephants in captivity often live in enclosures that are significantly smaller than their natural ranges. A recent study by the Ministry of Environment in Japan found that approximately 80% of wild
animals
 transferred to
zoos
 experience severe stress, which can lead to serious health issues or even death.
Thus
, confining
animals
 to limited spaces can negatively impact their well-being.
On the other hand
,
zoos
 offer several significant benefits. They play a crucial role in animal
conservation
 by providing a safe haven for species at risk of extinction.
Zoos
 contribute to preserving biodiversity and maintaining ecological balance.
Additionally
,
zoos
 offer valuable educational opportunities for the public. Schools often organize trips to
zoos
, where students can learn about wildlife and the importance of
conservation
 firsthand.
This
 hands-on experience fosters a deeper understanding of animal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and the need to protect their natural habitats. In conclusion, despite the potential drawbacks of keeping
animals
 in captivity, the benefits of
zoos
 in terms of
conservation
 and education outweigh these concerns.
Zoos
 play an essential role in protecting endangered species and raising public awareness about wildlife.
Submitted by nao.bb0820 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

lexical resource
To further enhance the essay, consider including a variety of sentence structures and more complex vocabulary to improve lexical resource and grammatical range and accuracy. This can make the argument more compelling.
task response
Adding a counter-argument to the pro-zoo viewpoint before concluding with your own perspective can help show a more nuanced understanding and balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and logically structured argument, with a strong introduction and conclusion that neatly encapsulates the main points.
task response
The discussion of both viewpoints is thorough, addressing key concerns about animal welfare and the benefits of zoos.
task response
Good and relevant examples, such as the study by the Ministry of Environment in Japan, are utilized to support the main points, making the essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: