IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today some people have to work away from their family. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people, these days, should be
Use synonyms
work
Suggestion
working
 far from their family, so it has an array of advantages and disadvantages for
this
Linking Words
 statement and I broadly agree that
this
Linking Words
 can be advantageous for both ones and their family. On the plus side, there are some benefits for the people that
work
Use synonyms
 away from their family.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people can be autonomous or even foster their ability. Simply put, they can learn how to communicate with their boss so it is significant to know how to commute with a manager.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, brings about they earn more money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if ones get money from their parents, they will not spend them wisely they waste money easily. Working individually can be fruitful for both parents and people.
Although
Linking Words
 it has a lot of merits, so the demerits cannot be ignored. The most axiomatic argument is that people should get up at an early
time
Use synonyms
, so
this
Linking Words
 is arduous at
first
Linking Words
 but during
time
Use synonyms
 people can accustom to it.
This
Linking Words
 is a key role in people’s life, on the grounds that had employed not got up at an early
time
Use synonyms
, they would have been dismissed from their
work
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they should rob themselves for their
work
Use synonyms
, they should
work
Use synonyms
 hardly they cannot spend more schedule for sleep or for recreational spot. They should spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 at profession and
work
Use synonyms
 tough to earn capital. In conclusion, regardless of drawbacks, I think the advantages of working far from their family cannot be negligible and have positive role on people’s maturity due to the reasons discussed above.
Submitted by Niu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrinsic preference
  • liberating
  • physical activity
  • chronic diseases
  • natural light
  • job satisfaction
  • environmental connection
  • monotonous
  • dynamic
  • stimulating
  • fulfilling career
  • creativity
  • inspire
  • office politics
  • corporate structures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: