IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children ) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the
last
Linking Words
 few years, many new ideas and beliefs arose aiming to improve
society
Use synonyms
 and reinforce the relationship between members of a
society
Use synonyms
. One of the proposed ideas, yet under observation, is to make it compulsory for high school students to do some programmes, of course, charity ones, to assist their community.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I completely support the idea that: helping promote the
society
Use synonyms
 is one of the main duties of a righteous and positive member. Imagine that in the vacation, some youths, and even all ages,
work
Use synonyms
 for charitable organisations which help the poor, the sick, the learners and others. Imagine other group cleaning and decorating the streets- of course, that won't affect their dignity- or teaching the young. Indeed, that will lead to an extremely modern, civilised and loving community.
However
Linking Words
, all these are examples, and there are many other ways to improve societies, both charitable and uncharitable methods. Despite
this
Linking Words
, the idea of compulsory charitable
work
Use synonyms
 doesn't sound good for me. I believe that making that compulsory, will not lead to the heroic purpose of the charitable
work
Use synonyms
 I.e. The inner desire to help others, but,
instead
Linking Words
, will make it a type of finishing your
work
Use synonyms
. I know that
this
Linking Words
 proposed idea aims to teach high school students to be responsible to their
society
Use synonyms
 and to take care of others, but I think there is a more efficient method. There are now working groups in many schools in different places which do
such
Linking Words
 charitable
work
Use synonyms
 and even without inspiration from the school's administration. So why not make many groups in all schools, and I think that will attract many students. In conclusion, I think there are other better ways to promote the
society
Use synonyms
 without making it compulsory; the sitting compulsory subjects are enough.
Submitted by ammarmahkhedr2019 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: