"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often said that "
health
is wealth". Out of a Use synonyms
nation
strength expenditure, an enormous ratio ought to be shifted from treatment to expense on Change noun form
nation's
health
education and preventable steps. I firmly Use synonyms
accord
that money should be spent on Verb problem
agree
health
knowledge. Use synonyms
Firstly
, if the money Linking Words
divert
Wrong verb form
diverted
in
providing fitness knowledge, it would be a huge change because sometimes people do not know about Change preposition
to
health
literacy, and they Use synonyms
caught
up by some disease which can be treated but Add a missing verb
are caught
treatment
Add an article
the treatment
cost
an arm and a leg. To exemplify, in Wrong verb form
costs
Add an article
the village
a village
village
so many people Fix the agreement mistake
villages
caught
up Add a missing verb
are caught
by
infectious Change preposition
in
disease
which can be cured Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
by
little education Change preposition
with
of
well-being. Correct your spelling
or
Secondly
, these measures can Linking Words
take
by simply doing, Wrong verb form
be taken
such
as Linking Words
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
commercial
,Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
advertisement
, and street Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show
.Fix the agreement mistake
shows
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
also
can be stopped by telling the side effects of tobacco and alcoholic drinks. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the government should encourage and aware the public Linking Words
of
diseases Correct word choice
aware of
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
prevent
by doing yoga or gym. Wrong verb form
be prevented
For example
Linking Words
an
as Correct article usage
apply
per report
Change preposition
reported
of
Change preposition
by
Times
of India few studies Correct article usage
the Times
shows
the government initiativeCorrect subject-verb agreement
show
of
stop smoking was successful Change preposition
to
hence
Linking Words
of
the advertisements and street shows. Change preposition
apply
Finally
, Linking Words
these
Correct determiner usage
the
moneys
spent on hygiene knowledge and preventable measures by countries are huge and after Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
certain
time Add an article
a certain
this
can be profitable for that country's economy and people can be able to spend that fund on good things. Linking Words
To sum up
, I agree that prevention is better than cure becauseLinking Words
which
disease can be tackled via preventative measures and education so it ought to be the best spend on fitness information and preventable steps.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by hupinder on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion