"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often said that "
health
is wealth". Out of a
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
strength expenditure, an enormous ratio ought to be shifted from treatment to expense on
health
education and preventable steps. I firmly
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
that money should be spent on
health
knowledge.
Firstly
, if the money
divert
Wrong verb form
diverted
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
providing fitness knowledge, it would be a huge change because sometimes people do not know about
health
literacy, and they
caught
Add a missing verb
are caught
show examples
up by some disease which can be treated but
treatment
Add an article
the treatment
show examples
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
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an arm and a leg. To exemplify, in
Add an article
the village
a village
show examples
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
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so many people
caught
Add a missing verb
are caught
show examples
up
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
infectious
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
which can be cured
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
little education
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
well-being.
Secondly
, these measures can
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
by simply doing,
such
as
tv
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TV
show examples
commercial
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commercials
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,
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
, and street
show
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shows
show examples
.
Moreover
,
this
also
can be stopped by telling the side effects of tobacco and alcoholic drinks.
Furthermore
, the government should encourage and aware the public
of
Correct word choice
aware of
show examples
diseases
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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prevent
Wrong verb form
be prevented
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by doing yoga or gym.
For example
an
Correct article usage
apply
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as
per report
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reported
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of
Change preposition
by
show examples
Times
Correct article usage
the Times
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of India few studies
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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the government initiative
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
stop smoking was successful
hence
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advertisements and street shows.
Finally
,
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
moneys
Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
show examples
spent on hygiene knowledge and preventable measures by countries are huge and after
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
time
this
can be profitable for that country's economy and people can be able to spend that fund on good things.
To sum up
, I agree that prevention is better than cure because
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
disease can be tackled via preventative measures and education so it ought to be the best spend on fitness information and preventable steps.
Submitted by hupinder on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • public awareness
  • proactive approach
  • unsustainable
  • economic productivity
  • healthcare system
  • vaccinations
  • curative measures
  • comprehensive healthcare
  • financial burden
  • incidence
  • preventable diseases
  • eradicating
  • controlling
  • allocated
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