IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think that to be successful you need to get University education whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #education
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Education
Use synonyms
 is the fundamental right of children and it leads to an individual process.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
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 is important if you want to be successful in your
life
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, other
people
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 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and they think it is not true.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why you can be successful in
life
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 without getting a
University
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education
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, but getting a
university
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education
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 is much better. There are a number of
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
life
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a person, who wants to be successful. They have reason to believe that if you get a
University
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education
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then
Linking Words
 you will have a good degree and in
university
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placements
Add a comma
placements,
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 you will have a chance to
hire
Wrong verb form
be hired
show examples
 by the best companies with a good salary package. With
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
University
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 degree in your hand, you can give
interview
Correct article usage
an interview
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any big farm and you could get hired by them.
For example
Linking Words
, recent research shows that if you have a
University
Use synonyms
 degree,
then
Linking Words
 you will have a 90% chance to be successful in your
life
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. Because of these
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that getting a
University
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education
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 is important.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that you must get a
University
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education
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 if you want to be successful are those who think that you can still be successful without getting
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
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. If you have any startup Idea
then
Linking Words
 you can start a whole company on that Idea and for
that
Add a comma
that,
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 you don't need
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University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are so many billionaires like Steve
jobs
Capitalize word
Jobs
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, Mark Zucker-Burg,
bill gates
Correct your spelling
Bill Gates
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 and Jeff Bezos
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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 college dropouts and nowadays their companies are among the best companies in the world.
So these
Rephrase
These
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that marketing and practical knowledge are much more important than
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 to be successful in
life
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. In conclusion, To be a better person
education
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 is important.
This
Linking Words
 discussed why it is not essential to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
University
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 if you want to be successful, but why it plays a vital role in our success. In my opinion, every person who gets
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 whether they want to be successful or not.

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task response
The essay lacks a clear and focused response to the task. The arguments are underdeveloped and lack specific support.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows some attempt at coherence and cohesion but lacks a logical structure. Improve the organization of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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