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Band 7

many people spend less time in their homes.what do you think are the reasons?what effects does it have on individuals and the society?

#people #time #homes #effects #individuals #society
It is true that increasing number of people staying outside their homes for many hours each
day
.Here, I will discuss what cause
this
 situation and how it will impact our personal and social lives. There are perhaps two main factors contributing to the phenomenon mentioned above.
Firstly
, an increasing high proportion of working people works overtime per
day
 due to extremely high KPI or business culture, which means they usually spend more than 8 hours in the workplace.At the same time, schools always keep students in classes for long hours.A typical example of
this
 is because of test-oriented educational system, average middle-school
day
 in china runs from 7:30 am to 10:30 am.
Secondly
, unlike the past, people nowadays have access to a variety of hangouts,
such
 as theatres, shopping malls, bars and gyms.
Therefore it
Accept comma addition
Therefore, it
 is understandable that why people go out for fun
instead
 of just staying at home.
Such
 trend has various effects on many aspects.From a personal perspective, spending all
day
 long outside the house, perhaps lead to a high level of consumption, simply because those individuals need to pay for restaurant meals or even other pastime activities.
However
, if they only stay in homes, their expense would be relatively low. On the societal level,
such
 time distribution would surely prompt local economy growth.To be more specific, It is not uncommon for white-collars to hang out with colleagues or friends after hectic work, they might have a barbecue in a Korean restaurant or hit a karaoke bar, or get facials, all of which possibly provide markets for catering, beauty, movie and clothing industries, and
consequently
 boosts domestic business. In all, the fact that people spend more hours outside is a result of plenty of contributors, and it eventually impacts our lives to a larger or smaller extent.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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