Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #work

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists in England who travel to four different Brighton attractions from 1980 to 2010. Overall, it is evident that during 1980 and 2010 the most visited attraction

were

In or at or to what place

where

the pavilion and the festival. While in 1980 the least popular attraction was the pier, but in 2010 it changed and the art gallery became the least favourite. During the year 1980 to 1995, there was a dramatic increase in the visitors to the pavilion from around 25% to approximately 50% and

then

the percentage decreased to slightly up to 30% in the year 2010, but remain the most traveller places.

Similarly

, for the art gallery

first

, it shows an upward trend from around 20% in 1980 to close to 35% in 1985. After that, in the year 1985 to 2010, the percentage of the art gallery was declining significantly to less than 10%. The number of travellers who visit the festival fluctuated slightly, but remained close to 25% over the period.

Likewise

, the visitor to pier

also

waved from 1980 to 2000

then

rose exponentially from 10% to around 25%.

Submitted by anikchandradash1 on Tue Feb 25 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

186 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

beneficial
harmful
advantages
disadvantages
financial independence
responsibility
valuable skills
impact
education
exploitation
negative effects
social life

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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?