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Writing Samples
Band 7

If a person is found to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol while driving, they should be banned from driving for life, whether they were involved in an accident or not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that drivers should not be allowed to
drive
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 if proven that they have consumed
liquor
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 or illegal
drugs
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while
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 driving, whether an accident occurred or not.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement because it can help decrease the
number
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 of vehicular
accidents
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 and the
number
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 of alcoholics and drug addicts.
To begin
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 with, banning a person from driving can help with the reduction of vehicular
accidents
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 related to
liquor
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 and illegal
drugs
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. Drivers are at high risk of getting involved in
accidents
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 when they are intoxicated.
For example
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, most
people
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 in the Philippines who got involved in motorcycle
accidents
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 are proven to have
liquor
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 in their blood samples. Liquors had impaired their vision which resulted in the accident. Unfortunately, when it comes to vehicular
accidents
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, it does not only involve the driver but
as well as
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 other
people
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.
In addition
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 to that, not allowing
individual
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individuals
show examples
 to
drive
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 for
life
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 if found guilty under the influence of alcohol and
drugs
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 can help decrease the
number
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ofalcoholics
Correct your spelling
of alcoholics
alcoholics
 and drug addicts. Quitting these substances can be easier for them than giving up driving, which is more essential in
life
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.
For instance
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, most
people
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 in Western countries, own and
drive
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 their own car. They use it in their everyday
life
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,
such
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 as going to and from work, getting groceries, and visiting family and friends. Knowing that they will not be able to
drive
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 for
life
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 can force them to give up
liquor
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 and
drugs
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instead
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. In conclusion, banning individual from driving for the rest of their
life
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 if proven guilty of
such
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 offence can dramatically decrease the
number
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 of
accidents
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 and help lower the
number
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 of
people
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 addicted to alcohol and
drugs
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.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to avoid repetitive statements and seek variety in your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
To strengthen your essay, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by incorporating a wider range of vocabulary, especially when discussing benefits or consequences, to more precisely convey your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on integrating more complex grammatical structures seamlessly into your writing to demonstrate linguistic proficiency and add depth to your analysis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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