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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The tables below give information about sales of fair trade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries

The tables below give information about sales of fair trade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries
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The below tables
illustrates
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illustrate
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 information about
sales
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 of Fairtrade* of
coffee
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 and
bananas
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 in 1999 and 2004 in five countries.
the
Capitalize word
The
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 tables
throws
Correct subject-verb agreement
throw
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 light on the five
european
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European
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 countries
UK
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,
Switzerland
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, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was observed that
denmark
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Denmark
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 was the highest spender for
sales
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
coffee
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 in 1999 but it was overtaken by
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 in 2004 by a massive number. Significantly,
Switzerland
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 stayed the highest for
sales
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 in
Bananas
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 in both the years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it was observed that
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 had a huge incline in
sales
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
coffee
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from
Change preposition
between
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 the
year
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years
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 1999 and 2004.
Whereas
Linking Words
, it showed very slow growth in
sales
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 when it came to
bananas
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.
Switzerland
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 had
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 the
sales
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 of
coffee
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 in 2004 and they showed a great incline in
sale
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sales
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Add an article
the banana
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banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 too from about 15 million Euros to about 47 million in 2004.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Denmark had no
suprising
Correct your spelling
surprising
 numbers, as it showed only a gradual climb in
sales
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 for
coffee
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 and
small
Add an article
a small
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 decline in
sales
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 for
bananas
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. Where, Belgium came to be a shocker as it showed a minimal rise in
sales
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 for
coffee
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comaperd
Correct your spelling
compared
 to
bananas
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where
Correct word choice
which
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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showed a boom in
sales
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 followed by Sweden with similar
sales
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,
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a slow price hike in
coffee
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 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
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a similar drop in
sales
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 for
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
UK
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 and
Switzerland
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 were the only
european
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European
show examples
 countries with a huge
diffrences
Correct your spelling
difference
differences
 in their
sales
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, bananas, uk, switzerland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slow" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade sales
  • significant growth
  • trends and patterns
  • market expansion
  • sustainable consumption
  • ethical products
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • percentage increase
  • market share
  • profit margins
  • trade initiatives
  • consumer behavior
  • retail figures
  • economic indicators
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