IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
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Few people believe that the
government
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 spends more money on
art
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 an
artists
Suggestion
artist
 than giving funds to the public services
such
Linking Words
 as
education
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,
health
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, safety and so on. I agree that public services need more
funding but
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funding, but
 not at the cost of the
art
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, which are still very important.
To begin
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 with
health
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care
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 should be available to everyone for free. Public
health
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care
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 is paid by the
government
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 utilizing the money from taxes for anyone to access to the quality of
care
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 and treatment, whereas private
health
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care
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 is inequitable because only wealthy people can afford it. One clear example is The National
Health
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 Service in the United Kingdom provides free
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 for every resident. Apart from
healthcare
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healthcare, education
education
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,
Accept space
,
 a moot issue everywhere, is undergoing
tremandous
extraordinarily large in size or extent or amount or power or degree
tremendous
 changes to meet new challenges. In today's age, it is necessary for each and every person to lead a healthy life.
Government
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 should not neglect
this
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 sector and allow more capital in the evolution and advancement
education
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 system. Private schools and colleges are
incresing
becoming greater or larger
increasing
 their fees day by day, so
government
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 should promote build more
education
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 institutions. There are
also
Linking Words
 reasons why
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government
Suggestion
the government
 should spend money on
art
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. One of the prominent
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 is the
art
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 reflects the culture of a
country
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 and promotes people's understanding toward their culture and architecture.
Linking Words
Secondly people
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Secondly, people
 from outside the
country
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 comes to see the historical building and by
maintening
keep in a certain state, position, or activity; e.g., "keep clean"
maintaining
mentioning
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 artistic
lagecy
(law) a gift of personal property by will
legacy
 of a
country
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 and can encourage tourists to visit again and again.
This
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 practice increase the tourism which eventually boost the economy of a
country
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. Without
governent
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 funding many
art
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 forms will die down and that will be a huge lose for the
country
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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