IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

There are many type of music in the world today why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country is more important and should it preserved or is international music that is heard everywhere nowadays is more useful to a society?

#type #music #world #country #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Now a days most
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, most
Nowadays most
 people like listening
music
Use synonyms
 in
there
of them or themselves
their
 free time.
some
Suggestion
Some
 people feel good to
listen
perceive (sound) via the auditory sense
hear
 traditional
music
Use synonyms
 and other thinks that
to
being one more than one
two
 more listen international
music
Use synonyms
 it's gives
benifit
financial assistance in time of need
benefit
 to our society.
impornt
Suggestion
Import
Impornt
 of traditional
music
Use synonyms
 and international
music
Use synonyms
 express in
futher
to or at a greater extent or degree or a more advanced stage ('further' is used more often than 'farther' in this abstract sense)
further
 passages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Use synonyms
music
Suggestion
the music
is takes
Suggestion
takes
has taken
is taken
 important role of life
,
Accept space
,
music
Use synonyms
is gives
Suggestion
gives
 us relaxation form the
strass
Suggestion
Strass
streets
Strauss
. Some people has
life
Suggestion
a life
 full of
strass
the relative prominence of a syllable or musical note (especially with regard to stress or pitch)
stress
stories
citrus
 and some other reason that type of situation you need
to
Suggestion
for
of
 some relaxation so, that time listen
music
Use synonyms
for
Suggestion
to
 feel good.
Moreover
Linking Words
, traditional
music
Use synonyms
 is one of the important
role
Suggestion
roles
 of life. Traditional
music
Use synonyms
 gives us knowledge about that country.
However
Linking Words
, now day younger generation did not listen traditional
music
Use synonyms
 they
not know
Suggestion
don't know
 about traditional
music
Use synonyms
. So they most like to listen international
music
Use synonyms
 of different countries m

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: