IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is no denying the fact that outdoor spaces are a must for all towns and
cities
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.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that it is crucial for all towns and
cities
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 to have huge outdoor
areas
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 like plazas and yards, there is an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that it is important to have these
places
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.
To begin
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 with, nowadays,
cities
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 and urban
areas
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 are usually very crowded.
In other words
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, it has become congested and full of buildings. So, it needs to have open
areas
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 in order to become more breathable and more suitable for
people
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 to live.
For example
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, In my country, the government impose some rules to regulate the building and open
areas
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 can enjoy spending their time in these
areas
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, especially because they contain gardens and activities for both adults and children. Another point to consider
,
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apply
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 is that these
cities
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 and towns need to have service
areas
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 like parking lots. It is
also
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 possible to say that,
people
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 need to have
places
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 to park their cars, which makes life for them much easier.
For instance
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, In developing countries, there are no
places
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 designated for cars. Because of that,
people
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 park their cars in inappropriate
places
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 which causes massive traffic and damage
in
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to
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 the roads. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I strongly believe that having huge public open
places
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 is important because
people
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 in
cities
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 must have breathable
areas
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 and
also
Linking Words
 they need spaces for parking.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more varied transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly between paragraphs.
task achievement
Strengthen the argument by providing more detailed examples, especially statistical data or studies when possible.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for the reader.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic, showing good task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public outdoor spaces
  • community events
  • social cohesion
  • community engagement
  • quality of urban life
  • physical activities
  • public health and wellbeing
  • environmental benefits
  • reduce pollution
  • urban wildlife
  • aesthetic appeal
  • inclusive access
  • economic benefits
  • local businesses
  • tourists attractions
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