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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #health
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With ever increasing world population, adverse factors in the form of diseases and environmental threats have now become the real dangers to the
health
Use synonyms
. Awareness about these challenges is the basis for fight against
such
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 insults. Academic places have their prime role in preparing the people, well informed about these issues. I support enhancing the primary medical knowledge of the students and in
this
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 regard, the schools should take the initiatives.
This
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 essay will give an insight into the raised mortality rates of diseases and essence of information in combating the illnesses, as pillars of my views in favour of
health
Use synonyms
 teaching.
Firstly
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, there is a tremendous rise in the disease prevalence and their associated mortality.
This
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 requires prompt action, including early reporting and detecting of sickness. For an example, in the past, with natives, mostly, being ignorant of the
health
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 problems, used to rely on domestic remedies resulting in the disabilities and deaths from potential curable problems.
Hence
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, the well groomed students, equipped with the basic knowledge about the diseases, are expected to do well in readily picking up the sick ones and taking them to the treatment facilities, ultimately, securing the society.
Therefore
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, institutions ought to put more work in teaching heath.
Secondly
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, awareness about lifestyle is another chief component of both the physical and mental well being. For an instance, the countries, where the schools teach
health
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 as a basic subject, have seen the dramatic changes in physical activities and the importance given to the diet. With better curriculum, the youth is becoming more conscious about aspects like obesity, adulteration, junk food and caloric estimation and balance. All these steps,
consequently
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 result in a healthy community with longer age spans of the dwellers. In conclusion, it looks imperative for the schools to augment their teachings of physical and mental fitness, which could make the societies fit and prosperous.
Submitted by drgishkori on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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